...Feeding the Beast since 1979




...Feeding the Beast since 1979

I was playing with my friends, one day, she motioned me over with her finger and there was a black kid beneath her and she’s rubbing her feet in his face.  When I came over, she asked me if I wanted to “smell something good” and stuck her foot in my face as well.  After awhile, i “gave in” and started to play with her feet.  After a couple of months, it was pure servitude.  She was all that i’d known, I was only 9.  She’s my primary though, i learned about women through the smell of this woman’s feet and being in Texas in those thick 70’s pantyhose…  She was a woman of authority and i was under her desk, sucking the dead skin off of her heels, everyday.  This was every day of daycare.  One thing that was constant, were her pheromones.  They were everywhere.  Naptime, she’s sitting directly over me with her feet in my face, on and on..  Sometimes I wonder if I would have maybe been a programmer or pilot or engineer, etc.  Sometimes I do feel “robbed” of that life.  Now i’m just a professional door mat, haha.

I do hope that I might be able to help people or survivors of molestation as well as also “doing my thing”, so to speak.  What I have inside of me though is not natural, i’m aware of this.  I’ll probably have to get it “cast out” at some point.  In my life though, everything revolves around my perversions.  It’s all I think about.  To my old friends that have known me since I was a kid, perhaps Mrs Knoblock might give some “clarification” for the women I’ve been attracted to throughout my life because she is everything to me and i’m a good fucking worker, haha.

I only had this epiphany when the pandemic was raging, we knew it was airborne and that was it.  This beautiful friend of mine walked me through everything, as it were.  Sometimes I wish I could just “unplug” myself and be normal, lol.  Seriously though it’s exhausting most of the time and it gets worse as I get older.  She knew what she was doing, looking back, as I am who I am now, grooming me like a motherfucker.  I know now that she was a predator.  All of that pressure and everything else, to turn me out.  She even threw her daughter into the mix later on.  I’d have to serve both of them.  They introduced me to pussy and the art of giving head as well.

I had this overwhelming desire to constantly be at the feet of a women, ready to serve.  I was a fat kid and had zero self esteem, when I was in high school in the mid 80’s.  I missed so many opportunities to be with good women back then.  I think this is why I really love “southern” women, even now.  I grew up watching my dad hit my mom, it seems like i’ve always been pointed in a direction, there was that hole I had when I was a kid, some dirty old woman took and molded me with.  It’s like my life was intentionally interrupted and i’m stuck there in south Texas in 1979 sometimes.

I have taken my perversions and have molded them into what I want them to be.  I’ve taken power over myself with the inner discipline to manifest the things that I want that I crave..